Hey everyone, today is my 3 month birthday! It has been a crazy 90 days. About a month ago, I was transferred to a new family. My suspicion is that there was a cash transaction involved, but surely not. I refuse to believe that my mother would allow such a thing as trafficking in puppy flesh. But I don’t know; I can’t seem to shake that feeling. I do believe my new overlords are decent people. They are moderately intelligent but inconsistent and naïve in how they try to manage me. Their attempt at potty training has been hilarious! Once they think they finally have me trained and celebrate my “getting it,” I like to drop a pint of puppy urine on the carpet. They absolutely lose their minds! Just a week or two more, and then I will make them proud. Of course, I know what they want; I always have.
And I hesitate to mention this, but they smell. Not overly offensive, just different. As long as they keep feeding me, I am sure I will get used to it. Also, the male, who is clearly junior to the Alpha Mrs. Birdhunter, is a bit over the top with the picture taking. It is a minor annoyance because he swears we are going to do all kinds of bird hunting – many states, many species, all wild birds, top-notch accommodations, etc., etc. If that happens then we are good. If this is one of those “two preserve hunts a year” homes, then I am outta here.
Then there is my 70+-year-old curmudgeon Chihuahua stepbrother Jack. That’s him in the picture below on the left. Mexican Jack, as I like to call him, is generally pretty fractious. It doesn’t help that I am only about three and a half, but clearly, I irritate him to no end.
He loves to overtly ignore me. So rude!
I try the point-blank barking in his face tactic. Usually to no avail, other than to kindle his wrath.
Even the universally accepted “lets play!” puppy position elicits no response. Only a cold shoulder.
Not sure what to make of him. Perhaps he is a troubled soul. I know Mrs. Birdhunter emasculates him daily by forcing him to wear a “male wrap” when in the house. A full-grown dog in a diaper! How embarrassing for him, no wonder he is damaged.
But his persistent, unresponsive stupor is exhausting!
Maybe I should take old Mexican Jack out?
Pretty sure I could! I am already three times his weight.
But then I bet I would end up in puppy jail for a heck of a lot longer than for just pissing on the carpet!
Besides, I would miss the old fart.
I think I will just continue to be the angel that they think I am, and leave old Jack alone.